Being pregnant isn’t as nice as the movies portray it. There are so many things that happen during those nine months that makes you feel like you are in a world of your own. Correction, you are!
Before I got pregnant I heard about morning sickness, wacky cravings and having swollen feet but honestly those symptoms are child’s play. Let me tell you the real deal, some of these are TMI (to much information). You may not want to eat about now.
Insane gas
Oh my! Pregnancy gas is something you cannot avoid. Because the body is working double time making hormones like progesterone and relaxing, which slows and loosen everything. Ahhh yes! It also includes your gastrointestinal muscles, which slow down your digestion and forms gas. Oops!
Sore breast
Extremely sore breast three weeks in my pregnancy. It got so sore even the thought of touching it was out of the freaking question. Trust me it’s not fun!
Constipation and Haemorrhoid
Oh boy, how I suffered. Haemorrhoids are veins in and around the rectum that become swollen and affect many pregnant women. How lucky are we!
Acid reflux
The bitch of all! I suffered so badly from it, I actually HATED night times because that’s when it affected me the most. No matter what I did, the bitch won’t leave me alone. Taking Gaviscon tablets helped but the taste was nasty!!
Constant pain
I had in pain places I didn’t know were even possible but the worse was back pain. Sitting down back pain, standing up back pain what do you want me to do?
Oh, discharge, discharge, and discharge!
There is nothing stopping it. I wore pads every day; shit was just coming out like no one’s business. Gross, gross, gross!!
Skin pigment changes
On my face, a small section went very light and I’m still waiting for it to go back to normal. On the belly, linea nigra a dark line runs down.
Pee your pants!
Along with the discharge you also end up leaking pee due to your bladder sitting under your uterus as your baby grows. Again pads were my best friend! Towards the end of my pregnancy even sneezing and laughing made me pee my pants. Control around peeing is a little compromised. Oh the shame!
Nasal congestion
I suffered really badly from nasal congestion during my pregnancy. Sleeping was already difficult, adding this on top of it made it even worse. I sometimes ended up snoring so badly that my partner had to nudge me many a times to keep it down.
Your water won’t always break
Yes, it’s true, after birth doesn’t expect your stomach to be flat. But do expect a kangaroo pouch.. Lucky me, I had the midwife break my water with her two fingers. I can honestly say that was the most painful part of the labour for me!
Needle, Needle, Needle
If you are like me, scared of needles then you’ll hate your midwife. I can’t recall how many times during my pregnancy I had needles poking in the skin. Constant blood withdrawal will get you use to it.
Karate kid
As my baby got bigger everything got crowded so it’s only right for my baby to kick me in the ribs.
Sleep deprivation
Sleep? What sleep? With the baby getting bigger it’s harder to find a good sleeping position along with constant toilet trips and other pains plus aches there’s really no time to sleep.
You won’t loose your belly after birth
Yes, it’s true, after birth don't expect your stomach to be flat but do expect a kangaroo pouch.
You might poo during labour
Yes, yes and yes. When the urge for you to push is coming fast, you have no control over it. You may let out number two, right there and then. There’s no stopping it.
Giving birth twice
So you thought you were only going to give birth to your baby and that’s it? Well sorry to disappoint you, after the main event it’s time to push out the placenta. Yes, you heard me!
Birth plan? What birth plan?
So the midwife suggests you write a birth plan, everything you want to happen when you go into labour e.g. I want to hold my baby after birth and breast-feed straight away. That goes out the window. I took the time to carefully write how I want my labour to go, but did it get used? No! Everything I wrote was a waste of time because the delivery itself went south. Was there a point to write my birth plan? No!
LEAVE YOUR DIGNITY AT THE DOOR!
Yes in bold! YOU LOSE YOUR DIGNITY!
I shared/ showed everything to my partner (poor guy). I forced him to shave my lady bit because I couldn’t see it.I walked around my birthing suite completely naked not caring who saw what(high on gas and air) and I was peeing in a bag without knowing it due to my C-section...I could go on forever! I'm sure I lost a fair amount of my sanity too!